Me and my siblings received an Xbox-360 as a joint-gift for the holidays this year, and me and my younger half-brother have been on alternating shifts between him playing LEGO: Indiana Jones and myself playing Fallout 3. And let's just say, every time my hands clutch the console, I can't put it down! I don't even feel the need to leave the house, or go out and consume liquor. Now this is the high-life!
Phenomenal post, right guys?
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
The Results Cum In!
2008 was really a great year for tunes. Both digitally and physically. And since every blogsite in the known world is blogging about its "favorites" of the year, I thought I'd join in! I heard a helluva lot of real cool albums from an array of men and girls, and downloaded TONS, and I mean ASSLOADS, of mp3s from my favorite website, skreemr.com. My favorite mp3 that I downloaded this year was probably "Japanese Boy" by Aneka, which first sparked my heart when I heard it in the GTA: Vice City soundtrack for the PS2 gaming console. Now don't get me wrong, just cuz I "dig" a song titled "Japanese Boy" doesn't mean I'm a gay or anything, you stupid fucks! I just like it for its Asian-tinged synths and very catchy chorus. But enough hoo-hah, let's cut to the real fun...
As I hinted at earlier in this blog, I heard a helluva lot of real cool albums throughout the course of this year. These albums generated a sense of spell-binding whimsy in my heart and mind that helped me prevail through the "tough times," and console my desires. I could not have lived without them. Some of these masterworks include:
Pacific Ocean Blue, Dennis Wilson
The Beach Boys are and still one of my favorite bands. But before you start passing judgment and questioning my "manliness" for being a fan, let it be known that their music is truly touching and artists from all over the musical spectrum have acknowledged their influence, from the Pixies to Yo La Tengo to Paul McCartney (and his titties, nonetheless). SO LAY OFF! And this man, pictured above in all his chest-hair exuberance, was a member of the Beach Boys. I only listened to about three or four of the first songs on this album before I became bored with it; nevertheless, these songs were soulfully mediocre and slightly hummable. Still, nearly every musical publication in existence gave it an outstanding review, so that has to amount to somethin'! Maybe I'll give it another "run-though" in the future, like if I'm taking a shit and just happen to have it playing on my computer in the background, in the other room.
Rock 'N' Roll Jesus, Kid Rock
I think it's safe to say that this man is a hard-ass. And a goddamned creative one at that. But jeez Rock, could you lay off the controversy? How'd you think the world would react to an LP titled "Rock 'N' Roll Jesus"?! Nevertheless, Kid Rock really rocks it hard throughout. I've only heard one song off this thing, but that song, "All Summer Long" was truly a monster fucking hit all summer long. For those unaware of its appeal, it samples from two outstanding cuts of rock history: "Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd (as if you didn't know) and "Werewolves of London" by Warren Zevon (God rest his sweet soul). It's also got some great lyrics to boot, like "sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinkin' 'bout tomorrow." Lord knows I did just that many a night during the glorious summer of '08. LOL! And I don't think a night went by where I was up at 4am and DIDN'T see its music video in heavy rotation on either VH1 or MTV "After Hours." I'd be sitting there eating some Zesta crackers and just absolutely be feelin' the summer vibe in its entirety. Purely amazing...
Duffy, Duffy
This was another flat-out, ass-kicking rock album that dominated the summer airwaves. Many a critic hailed this plus-size star as the next "Dusty Springfield" (who cemented her cult status in the annals of rock history for singing the shitty song "Son of a Preacher Man"), but I think she's more than that. Every song on this album is probably so full of soul and true, aching heartache that its greatness can't be contained. The only song that I've been blessed to hear from this stellar debut is "Mercy." And God above, it rocks. It's got saxes, a cool back-beat and some of the most unappealing vocalizations I've heard in decades. Let me give you a sample of her lyrics: "You got me beggin' you for mercy, why won't you release me?" You know she must've dove head-first into the most despairing depths of her heart to coin such powerful statements. And the music video to accompany the song is flawless, as well. It's all in black-and-white to give it the honest authenticity of a 1960s rebel-rouser, as if to think, "Was this really made in 2008?! It's fucking amazing!". And hey, I ain't complaining! Kudos to you, Ms. Duff!
SLEEPER HIT OF THE YEAR:
Feed the Animals, Girl Talk
Okay, I know its tough to earn recognition when you're overshadowed by such behemoths as Duffy (literally, in her case), Kid Rock, and Kate Perry, but this little diddy truly stole my breath. And since I couldn't think of any other noteworthy album as I was typing this, I thought I might as well mention it. It's just great. The first 45 seconds of "Still Here" are blow-worthy; anything that features snippets of "The Weight" by the Band, "Flashing Lights (ft. Dwele)" by Kanye West and the organ hook from Procol Harum's "Whiter Shade of Pale" all in the same track earns my stand-up applause.
And that's all she wrote, folks! I'm sick of writing this hackneyed bullshit, and ready to fix myself a sandwich, or salad. Hope you enjoyed the magick, and child-influenced splendor of this entry, and blog about it in your blog!
THIS IS PISS, SIGNING OUT!
As I hinted at earlier in this blog, I heard a helluva lot of real cool albums throughout the course of this year. These albums generated a sense of spell-binding whimsy in my heart and mind that helped me prevail through the "tough times," and console my desires. I could not have lived without them. Some of these masterworks include:
Pacific Ocean Blue, Dennis Wilson
The Beach Boys are and still one of my favorite bands. But before you start passing judgment and questioning my "manliness" for being a fan, let it be known that their music is truly touching and artists from all over the musical spectrum have acknowledged their influence, from the Pixies to Yo La Tengo to Paul McCartney (and his titties, nonetheless). SO LAY OFF! And this man, pictured above in all his chest-hair exuberance, was a member of the Beach Boys. I only listened to about three or four of the first songs on this album before I became bored with it; nevertheless, these songs were soulfully mediocre and slightly hummable. Still, nearly every musical publication in existence gave it an outstanding review, so that has to amount to somethin'! Maybe I'll give it another "run-though" in the future, like if I'm taking a shit and just happen to have it playing on my computer in the background, in the other room.
Rock 'N' Roll Jesus, Kid Rock
I think it's safe to say that this man is a hard-ass. And a goddamned creative one at that. But jeez Rock, could you lay off the controversy? How'd you think the world would react to an LP titled "Rock 'N' Roll Jesus"?! Nevertheless, Kid Rock really rocks it hard throughout. I've only heard one song off this thing, but that song, "All Summer Long" was truly a monster fucking hit all summer long. For those unaware of its appeal, it samples from two outstanding cuts of rock history: "Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd (as if you didn't know) and "Werewolves of London" by Warren Zevon (God rest his sweet soul). It's also got some great lyrics to boot, like "sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinkin' 'bout tomorrow." Lord knows I did just that many a night during the glorious summer of '08. LOL! And I don't think a night went by where I was up at 4am and DIDN'T see its music video in heavy rotation on either VH1 or MTV "After Hours." I'd be sitting there eating some Zesta crackers and just absolutely be feelin' the summer vibe in its entirety. Purely amazing...
Duffy, Duffy
This was another flat-out, ass-kicking rock album that dominated the summer airwaves. Many a critic hailed this plus-size star as the next "Dusty Springfield" (who cemented her cult status in the annals of rock history for singing the shitty song "Son of a Preacher Man"), but I think she's more than that. Every song on this album is probably so full of soul and true, aching heartache that its greatness can't be contained. The only song that I've been blessed to hear from this stellar debut is "Mercy." And God above, it rocks. It's got saxes, a cool back-beat and some of the most unappealing vocalizations I've heard in decades. Let me give you a sample of her lyrics: "You got me beggin' you for mercy, why won't you release me?" You know she must've dove head-first into the most despairing depths of her heart to coin such powerful statements. And the music video to accompany the song is flawless, as well. It's all in black-and-white to give it the honest authenticity of a 1960s rebel-rouser, as if to think, "Was this really made in 2008?! It's fucking amazing!". And hey, I ain't complaining! Kudos to you, Ms. Duff!
SLEEPER HIT OF THE YEAR:
Feed the Animals, Girl Talk
Okay, I know its tough to earn recognition when you're overshadowed by such behemoths as Duffy (literally, in her case), Kid Rock, and Kate Perry, but this little diddy truly stole my breath. And since I couldn't think of any other noteworthy album as I was typing this, I thought I might as well mention it. It's just great. The first 45 seconds of "Still Here" are blow-worthy; anything that features snippets of "The Weight" by the Band, "Flashing Lights (ft. Dwele)" by Kanye West and the organ hook from Procol Harum's "Whiter Shade of Pale" all in the same track earns my stand-up applause.
And that's all she wrote, folks! I'm sick of writing this hackneyed bullshit, and ready to fix myself a sandwich, or salad. Hope you enjoyed the magick, and child-influenced splendor of this entry, and blog about it in your blog!
THIS IS PISS, SIGNING OUT!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
So...christmas is cumin' up
And as a real cool treat for all of my world-wide viewers out there, here's a real cute video of one of my favorite actresses doing what he does best: flaunting his bearded whimsy to a studio full of children! I LOVE IT!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
United Poo-Poo Service, Day 5
So I've now been employed with the UPS Delivery Task Force Service for a total of 5 days now. And I gotta say, it's very gruff work! I have to wear boots, a stylish brown toboggan, and an XL, parachute-like brown coat with a polo-like zipper. It's sexy as hell. Everyday, I get barked at by loads of dogs (some that even try to nip at my ankles) and I swear, I wanna just kick 'em in the face. Quit threatening me you damn muts!! I haven't been biten yet... but knowing my luck (and because I'm very superstitious and mystical-thinking) me ridiculing the whole situation will cause me to get mauled, as a sick joke played on me by the universe, if you will. Let's hope not, though! Fingers crossed! The one good thing I like about this line of employment is that I get to come in contact with TONS of attractive, middle-aged babies. Definitely a "fringe benefit," if you will! Haha, okay, I'm done typing for now. My twinkie hurts and I GOTTA give it a rest...
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Apology to My Readers...
Guys, this is me being real...
I am terribly sorry about that last "post." It wasn't appropriate; I just really should not have revealed that story here in the online realm. That kind of stuff is reserved for Perez and AOL chatrooms. I was a little too drunk last nite, feeling a little depressed about my pet wolf-spider's passing, and I needed to rant.
Unfortunately, due to the massive amount of e-mails and hate mail I received in response to my "Tum Butts" post below, I am now apologizing to my devout fan base. I will not let it happen again. I will not, again, let that damn bottle get the best of me. I sincerely hope that all of you will sincerely forgive me. Please don't give up on me yet.... I now pledge to provide you readers with a much more family-friendly environment, something you can show your kids and laugh at, in hopes that all of you precious men and women continue to support my passion for literature and nonverbal comedic humor.
God Bless
I am terribly sorry about that last "post." It wasn't appropriate; I just really should not have revealed that story here in the online realm. That kind of stuff is reserved for Perez and AOL chatrooms. I was a little too drunk last nite, feeling a little depressed about my pet wolf-spider's passing, and I needed to rant.
Unfortunately, due to the massive amount of e-mails and hate mail I received in response to my "Tum Butts" post below, I am now apologizing to my devout fan base. I will not let it happen again. I will not, again, let that damn bottle get the best of me. I sincerely hope that all of you will sincerely forgive me. Please don't give up on me yet.... I now pledge to provide you readers with a much more family-friendly environment, something you can show your kids and laugh at, in hopes that all of you precious men and women continue to support my passion for literature and nonverbal comedic humor.
God Bless
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Tum Butts
Okay, so last nite I was on my computer watching Hentai porn and my grandfather comes in screaming "Turn that shit off!" I was so freaked. There on my desktop was this humongous picture of an anime woman getting kooked by a tree limb and I couldn't do anything to get that picture off! Well, so grandfather beat me in the kitchen after that and right after the final belt whip hit my ass I tumbled into the table and knocked off all the plates and pizza slices that were sitting on it! It was not a good night, let me tell you. So after that, I was pretty pissed and channeled my energy by listening to Wolf Parade...
Monday, December 1, 2008
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