United Poo-Poo Service, Day 5

So I've now been employed with the UPS Delivery Task Force Service for a total of 5 days now. And I gotta say, it's very gruff work! I have to wear boots, a stylish brown toboggan, and an XL, parachute-like brown coat with a polo-like zipper. It's sexy as hell. Everyday, I get barked at by loads of dogs (some that even try to nip at my ankles) and I swear, I wanna just kick 'em in the face. Quit threatening me you damn muts!! I haven't been biten yet... but knowing my luck (and because I'm very superstitious and mystical-thinking) me ridiculing the whole situation will cause me to get mauled, as a sick joke played on me by the universe, if you will. Let's hope not, though! Fingers crossed! The one good thing I like about this line of employment is that I get to come in contact with TONS of attractive, middle-aged babies. Definitely a "fringe benefit," if you will! Haha, okay, I'm done typing for now. My twinkie hurts and I GOTTA give it a rest...