Cute Poon

i had an "ephiphany," as one would say, a few moments ago as i was drinking a DQ milkshake. the two dumb sluts who were working the drive-thru register were cracking up as they gave me my shake and cheeseburger. now, they were probably laughing at some hilarious teen gossip or cuz one of 'em let out a gassy queef. but me, being the over-the-top paranoid that i am, figured they were laughing at my expense, like "oh my god, he looks exactly like that freak-of-nature from the 'Burbs!"

the first time anyone had ever referred to me as "that guy from the 'Burbs" was at some faggotity hipster party my sophomore year. and just recently i've been hearin' it more and more. then i actually saw the shitty film myself (and want to assassinate every person who was involved in its production), and can understand how all these fucks see a "resemblance." [LOOK HE'S GOT RED-HAIR AND SLIGHT FACIAL-HAIR!] but once this joke approached me while working in a goddamned pillow factory in the middle of butt-fuck Indiana (Middletown, IN no less), i knew something had to "give." now it's like i can't go out in public without thinking in the back of my mind that everyone's fucking snickering at me.

so now, instead of being paranoid about this shit (which basically stems from my long-standing crippling insecurities), i'm gonna dye my hair jet-pink and start walking around in hispanic tunics. so at least i'll give 'em a reason to fucking laugh, as the old adage goes!


(childish, irrational rant, i know... but i don't give a snick! it's what ya call passion, babe.)